Life's a Bitch

Have you ever wondered why life is just being such a pain in the ass. Its like you just don't feel like going through it and hope judgement day will just fucking come. No more Quas nor Alsafa, not worrying bout your education and what your gonna do after that and most of all not worrying about love or finding love to be exact. Well i guess love will actually make you or break you. Its like Yong Meng putting his dick into Ethan's ass. It'll make or break Ethan i suppose. Most likely to make it. HAHAHA. Don't get mad Ethan, its just a joke.

Anyway, the point is, how the FUCK do you actually like someone so damn bloody much but in the end the feelings that you pour out is just like your pee flowing right down the toilet bowl and being flush right after that into the sewage. People often say, you gotta move on bro. I know its easy to say cause even i say it but how do you do it when your brain says yes but most importantly your heart says no. I know your heart is connected to your brain, bla bla bla, but you get my point right. But why. Why does these kinda things always happen to me. I know what all of you will answer. KARMA. I know i did lots of bad stuff in the past especially when it comes to girls and I'm sorry for what had happened. I know one sorry wouldn't really fix all those things in the past but honestly I really am. Anyway back to the topic where i thought i found the right one and on the other hand she thought so too and then hell breaks loose and now, you dunno if you wanna continue. I mean like wtf really. I thought when you say I love you, its suppose to be filled with sincerity and honesty. I guess i just took those words too seriously. Maybe i was thinking with my dick instead of my brain which what most of us do when we are "IN LOVE" at least we thought we are. No wonder many people out there always thought that they are in love until they get married and found out that "yea, i'm in love" but with the wrong fucking person. I guess love makes the world go blind only for marriage to open their eyes.

I guess all I'm left here now is hope. I believe that something that you actually let free but in the end comes back to you is really yours. I should stop being so persistent, and hopefully she'll just fall right back into my arms. I'm sorry guys for posting up something emotional but I just wanted to express how fucked up am I feeling right now. Maybe as years go by I'll probably look back at this and say Dillion your a fucking Idiot. Why the fuck are you thinking like Ethan. But oh well i guess life is life, just like a wheel having its ups and downs. Maybe I should just go and watch some porn and masturbate to it just to make myself feel better. Releasing emo-ness through your sperms might just be the way to go. Like how Yi Han does it at the massage parlor.